Showing posts from December 1, 2019

Functionally Depressed - Part 2

"Damn it! I Know How I Got Here. I Know How This All Ends!!" Rolling back ( You'll see why I chose this phrase in a second... ) off the loss of my father, I continued to build the company and work the contract job. We hired a number of talented people and I did a pretty good job of keeping my energy up while pushing myself to find time for my family. During the spring and summer I continued exercising by riding my bike and training for my annual cross-state (you could even call it Pan-Ohio ) bike ride. I was pushing everything by trying to train and still manage both jobs, but the physical activity was part training and part social time with people in my life who shared my love of riding. This was also the first year my second daughter was going to join me on my annual ride. We'd discussed it for years but now she was old enough and had enough training to attempt this insane event for herself. This brought us up to the middle of summer. The weather for t

Functionally Depressed - Part 1

A confession in twelve-million parts ... er pieces? It has taken me a very long time to summon up the strength of will to write what I hope you're about to read. It has taken seemingly exhausted reserves of personal motivation to put finger to key and punch out what I'm about to share. I'm suffering from being functionally depressed. I have been for the better part of two years. At a time in my life when I have more resources and seemingly more personal freedom than I've ever had. Everything I've worked hard to create and build and earn amounts to what I'm told and objectively believe to be a pile of great accomplishments. But it feels to me like half-assed work and the recurring acceptance of "adequacy" not excellence. But I'm continuing to do it and I for the most part continue to improve the situation of my family, friends and employees. I'm functionally depressed -- Not dealing with high-functioning depression ( which is a co